Im back at last... Now.. meet my allies..

Hello everyone... Welcome back... im finally in my new home.. my house just finished renovating..
and it kinda makes me happy.. KINDA... but sadly it didnt..
huh.. sad.. havent felt this for a while now.. but still... my close fren..
It looks like.. the operation is a failure.. but still i will never stop... My dignity will be fought back..
I swear of it..
Now.. its time to meet my allies...
1st Darkness And Sadness... (Twins) they are my closest and oldest frens..
they came to me in my early years when iwas 5... they have become a great ally..
they stick with me till the end...
2nd Loneliness and Heartbroken...
This is a fren that i can never forget...
because they comfort me when i get angry or miserable.. They are very strong allies...
Handy.. because of my shortage of "frens" that care for me...
3rd Chaos...
My 2nd newest ally... a worthy ally.. he helps me control my rage.. and my newest ally.. he calms the new guy down before he gets me into trouble.. and teaches him to use his strength at the right moment..
4th Revenge..
One of my strongest and closest allies... he grew on me... really quick.. and i got used to him..
he has lots of uses to me.. but i musnt use it willy nilly.. i must w8 for the rite time.. then il strike with him by my side...

Ive told u my frens.. so don comment me with such hatred..
oh and for those that dont remember my birth day..
i say thanks.. for reminding me who are my real frens and who arent..
i think thats it for this post... and again i bid u a farewell..
P.S.. Im not Gothic nor Emo(not sure about emo) but certainly not gay..

2nd page of the plan comencing..

Finally.. ive stood up to him..
BUT HE DIDNT EVEN FRIGGIN LISTEN!!!
THAT FR!!!
argh..
i dunno wats wrg with me..
ive always wanted to be frens with him..
all i wanted to do is be frens..
or at least earned his respect..
but he keeps disrespecting me..
i dun even know wat i did..
or is it just cause he hates me..
i dunno..
sometimes i just feel that everyone hates me..
some how..
he knows how to get ppl to go against me..
like he planned it all along..
i dunno..
argh..
i so friggin hate him!!
but i still wanna be his fren..
i dunno wats wrg with me..

well..
to do list:
1st realise that hes not that big of an enemy.. [x] check...
2nd stand up to him and ask him nicely to make little with the insults... [x] check...
3rd Backup up plan: If he doesnt stop, tell him agessively to stop friggin diss me [ ] (backup)
4th Explain how i feel and y i dont find it funny.. [ ] not done..
(if he disses me about that.. lets just say he will not know whats coming to him...)
5th make up and be friends [ ] (if needed)

i know im a jerk.. and smtimes i just say wats on my mind..
and i never think before i say smthing..
but please forgive me..
thats just me..
im still trying to repair myself..
well..
i think thats it for now..
bye..
thanks for reading..
and for those hu don giv a damn..
get the F*** out of here..

1st page of the plan executing..

Hi... Time to end this!!! im gona make him realise hes hurting me more than he knows..
both mentally and psychologically...
Lets just recognize him as FR...
To do list:
1st realise that hes not that big of an enemy.. [x] check...
2nd stand up to him and ask him nicely to make little with the insults... [ ] not done..
3rd Backup up plan: If he doesnt stop, tell him agessively to stop friggin diss me [ ] (backup)
4th Explain how i feel and y i dont find it funny.. [ ] not done..
(if he disses me about that.. lets just say he will not know whats coming to him...)
5th make up and be friends [ ] (if needed)


i just hope i could have support... if im gona face this guy... ill need backup.. this isnt just a battle...
its a war...
for those hu think i need them... pls help me.. i need to settle this once and for all...
pls dont dissapoint me...
C ya laterz...

The Greatest Day Of My Life ( Or The Other Way Around..T^T)

Yay...
Coming Soon... In 31st May... The Day i was Born...
It Should be the greatest day in my life...
But its not... Nobody remembers it.. except ur family... that cares...
(thank allah for my parents, i love them and i hope they love me too)..
but the one that doesnt...
like some of my frens... well... They Don even GIVE A DAMN!!!
argh...
But hey.. if nobody respects u.. nobody listens to you..
and u got a guy in ur class that keeps dissing and leeches away ur honour and respect from ppl...
it feels great to be even noticed... even for bad things....
ugh... School used to be fun..
What happened i ask u all...
Y do ppl keep dissing u... wat have i ever done to him..
he leeches all of it from me.. keeping the coldness in me.... the blood from my heart cant even come out..
its frozen black...
IF I COULD JUST PUNCH HIM IN THE....
but i cant.. that will cost me.. he isnt worth it..
argh..
do i have anyone i can trust...
im like friggin crying like crazy here!!
im seriously crying in real life...
i duno wat to do...
how can i make him stop...
violence? (it will cost me, hes not worth it)
psychology? ( doesnt work)
talk to him? ( he never listens... he just keeps saying *pehal ni??)
complain to teacher? ( what dya think i am.. 5!!??)
ignore him and hope he will stop?? (tried it for 2 years.. if it didnt work now.. it will never do..)
run from his dissing?? ( it chases after me..)
i just need some support or backup...
but im alone.. in a sea of misfortune.. dishonour.. and embarrasment....
i hope he gets whats coming to him...
ugh...
enjoy ur classes and school... if u have a class like mine.. be happy that u survived for even a day..
k..
thats it for now...
sry but i dont post any romantic lessons anymore..
he sucked that from my heart as well..


Mothers day is coming...
Remember ur mothers... Love them as much they love them... and if possible.. even more..
i hope i could tell my mom that... but im just too shy..
nah..
thats all..
bye.. thnx for reading..

I still have hope..

Hi guys... im sry i havent posted anything lately.. i was bz.. and my internet broke..
but im back..


I used to be depressed.. sad.. lonely... but now..

a ray of hope came... guided by the ones that care 4 me..
beleiving in me.. trusting me...
and mostly.. respecting me...
that means a lot...
bcs in my class..
its a nightmare...
ppl tend to take advantage of me...
i help them.. but do they help me?... NO
...ugh...
those blood sucking leeches will b the last that i put up with...
and to thank my new found confidence..
thanks a lot:
Najjmi for beleiving in me, giving me advice, always listens, being a good fren...
Irfan for always cheering me up,4 suporting me, for teaching me how its like to get no support..
Khaireen for always caring, always listening...
and special thankz to Pn Zanariah and Cik Siti for helping me conceal my anger....

I really apreciated the things that these ppl have done to me.. and i hope that i could repay for wat they have done...

well...
i guess this is the end...
i will continue next time..
with my struggle for respect in my class... il tell u guys and gals what hapens next...
but for now...
I bid u a fare well...
Gdbye and thanks for reading..

loneliness, heart break.. good to see my frens again...

if ur asking... NO im not emo..
im just me...
im easily sad....
its god's gift... so i just use it as it is and apriciate it...
im getin used to loneliness and heartbreak...
but they wont stay for long...
they visit me once in a while...
mostly at school...
when im in its mood...
they come to comfort me..
when im a bit better...
my school frens come to make it all better..
but this time it needs more than that..
so.. im glad to see u again loneliness and heartbreak....
and now they brought me 3 new frens...
misery and hatred darkness...
dont get me wrong..
im not goth either...
i just like black and white...
darkness and light...
light everybody understands...
its good.... nice....
but darkness...
most misunderstood...
its not evil!!... its just lonely.. and needs a fren to share it...
so never misunderstand it again...

Tday's advice...:

If ur afraid to make mistakes like me..
don be... its better to make mistakes at the early stages of relationships...
then u can repair them and make up...
(not kiss make up, like.. pretend it never hapen and be tgether again)
never cheat him\her...
that is the farmost biggest mistakes of relationship u can make...

thats it for now...

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

Hi.. in this blog.. U can refer to me as Jazz.. I started this blog to share my life.. I just made the biggest mistake of my life!!!T.T... i lost someone special... and its bcs just blew it..
.... so ... almost everyday i will tell how regretful i am and il giv u tips on how to survive a relation ship with someone u love more than other normal girls.. say wat u want.. i dont care!!..

1st advice..:
when ur in a new relation ship... ask ur GF\BF wat to do or wat not to do... or u'l do wat i did..
u'l make a mistake that ul never forget...trust me!!!...

2nd advice for today..:
never let ur girl get away.. if she says u did smthing wrg... always try to repair.. until she says stop... ask for wat u did wrg.. and repair that.. but if its the one that u take seriously... u wont have time to repair..

thats it for now... enjoy ur lives...